3 things that are keeping you psychologically stuck.
There have been distinct periods of my life when I have felt completely stuck in my current situation. Each time I have had the inner yearning for something more, but the inability to shift from a state of feeling like I was stuck in quicksand.
I see it in my clients regularly too. This feeling of being unable to move forward because of believing you have limited options, and the ones that are available are extremely difficult or extremely unpleasant.
So the stuckness stays, and you stay stuck. Until you aren’t.
What fascinates me (and is equally annoying) is that we are creating the stuckness ourselves. In very subtle and unintentional ways, often thinking that we are doing something that will help, we are holding ourselves back.
Here are three surprising reasons you might still feel stuck – and how real change happens.
1. Trying to think your way out of feeling psychologically stuck.
We’re all guilty of this one. “If I can just understand what’s going on here, I’ll be able to figure it out.”
Alas, you will not pass Begin and you definitely won’t collect $200 using this approach.
While consciously understanding can be helpful, it doesn’t create any transformation on its own. In fact, analysing your situation from every which angle keeps your focus on it, sending all your energy to the problem, keeping your problem front of mind.
And there’s no surprise, you will still stay stuck, even though you now understand how you are stuck.
Here's an example:
Say you’re someone who feels a large amount of anxiety about speaking up in meetings. Even the thought of having to attend a meeting makes those anxiety feelings start rising.
Perhaps you know exactly why you feel anxious about this scenario – it’s because of that time you did a class presentation in primary school and everyone laughed at you – but even with this insight, you feel the same nervousness when it’s time for you to speak up.
Your understanding hasn’t changed your response in the moment; it’s just created a more defined mental loop – this happened when I was a child > it causes this expected reaction > I get anxious in meeting > because this happened when I was a child.
Stuck!
Why this keeps you stuck:
Focusing on “figuring it out” reinforces the problem, keeping it alive in your minds. True change comes from working with the unconscious mind – the part of you that’s generating these reactions – rather than consciously thinking about it. Approaches like Conversation Hypnotherapy bypass endless mental analysis and create shifts at a deeper level, where the patterns are held.
2. Forcing change through sheer willpower to get yourself unstuck.
As much as I’d sometimes like to be, I am not David Goggins. And I am guessing, neither are you. Trying to brute force your way through a problem relying on sheer willpower is a fast track to mental exhaustion rather than any change of habit or reaction.
Willpower alone rarely works on deeply ingrained patterns and sometimes exacerbates the problem by adding a big dose of frustration and inner struggle.
So now, not only are you stuck, but your really annoyed that you are, and you’re starting to give up.
Here's an example:
Consider someone who’s trying to stop being a people-pleaser. They’ve decided their stuckness is a result of putting everyone else’s needs ahead of their own. They try to force themselves to say “No” and create boundaries.
Despite their best efforts, saying No is far more uncomfortable than just saying Yes and dealing with the personal fallout. They keep trying whenever it’s less confrontational to say No, but they find it extremely difficult to stick with the new boundaries, no matter how much they want to.
Why this keeps you stuck:
Relying on willpower to make changes leads to inner conflict. Essentially, one part of you wants one thing while another part of you is doing something else.
Instead of fighting with yourself and your unconscious mind, Hypnotherapy lets you work with yourself, addressing the underlying need that’s fueling your behaviour. This way change is a natural byproduct of meeting your own needs, rather than the result of winning a battle against yourself.
3. Using distractions to feel less psychologically stuck instead of facing the issue.
Our minds are very, very good at avoiding discomfort and keeping us firmly within our comfort zones – even when those comfort zones are bad for us.
It’s completely natural when you’re feeling uncomfortable to want to do something that turns that down a notch and moves you closer to feeling comfortable again. Discomfort is scary.
So you try to distract yourself from uncomfortable. It might be an upbeat series on Netflix, or following a lot of new holistic coaches on Instagram. It might even be a few yoga classes or some kind of self-help approach.
You might get an immediate dopamine reward and feel a little better, but the effects are temporary, because you haven’t addressed what’s causing you to feel stuck.
Here's an example:
Imagine someone feeling lonely after a breakup. We’ve all been there, right?
Instead of sitting with their feelings, they decide that being busy is the best solution. They fill their days with activities – working extra hours, socialising, maybe gym time or binge-watching their favourite shows.
They end up being really busy and really tired, but the loneliness is still there when they fall into bed.
Why this keeps you stuck:
Distractions numb your discomfort in the moment, but they don’t let you process or transform what’s happening.
Instead, working directly with the unconscious mind lets you acknowledge and release the feelings in a way that brings lasting relief – processing them rather than trying to ignore them or cover them up.
Moving beyond the stuck cycle.
If you find yourself leaning on these approaches – thinking, willpower, or distraction – you’re not alone. These are common ways we try to cope. But if you’re ready for real change, the next step is to address your deeper, unconscious layers where you’ve created these patterns. Methods like Conversational Hypnosis work directly with your unconscious mind, allowing real shifts to happen naturally without you needing to think your way out of a problem, stay strong through it, or try to force new behaviours.
When you engage with these deeper layers, you’ll find that lasting change is more about releasing than pushing. Get in touch if this sounds like a better option to you.
Imagine feeling unstuck and moving forward with more freedom. It’s possible – and it all starts with understanding what’s really keeping you in place.
